It's official. I am a freaking train wreck. Not exactly a Charlie Sheen style train wreck but still, a train wreck. Today alone, I have cried over a song on the radio (I don't do that), drove to a sporting goods store for no apparent reason and wandered around for about 30 minutes before realizing I had no idea why I even went there, teared up again on the way home from the grocery store while giving myself a pep talk, wanted to stab someone when I saw the weather forecast for Sunday was posted on Facebook ( I don't weather stalk before races due to that whole 'not-being-able-to-control-the-weather-or-the-stress-caused-by-weather-stalking' thing), debated over which sunscreen to buy for 15 minutes before choosing the same one I always buy... oh and I'm eating Larabars like the fate of the world depends on it.
Here's the worst part. I feel like I have no business feeling this way since I'm running the 25k while several of my friends are running the full marathon. It's even the first full marathon for a few of my close running buddies. They are running the whole 26.2 which is so amazing to me and I'm here whining about 15.5.
I know that it's ridiculous for me or anyone to feel like their goal is less important than someone else's. I really do understand that but it's driving me crazy on top of crazy. The breakdown: I am going crazy about running my 25k and then going even crazier because I don't feel validated in my current craziness when others are doing so much more. See, I'm a train wreck.
Fred has been really awesome. He is so incredibly supportive. Plus, he gives me perspective. His words to me, "Really, what is the worst thing that can happen? You don't finish. So what? You're young, healthy, and hot. (his words, not mine) You have a husband who loves you and three wonderful kids who are also healthy." This is why I married this man. He keeps me grounded. He's amazing.
Then, I'm going to wait and cheer for all of my friends who are running the full marathon. After that, I'll start planning for the next race...
Good Luck and Happy Running to everyone who is running
River City this weekend!!!