Pre-Race Jitters, Anyone?

It's official. I am a freaking train wreck. Not exactly a Charlie Sheen style train wreck but still, a train wreck. Today alone, I have cried over a song on the radio (I don't do that), drove to a sporting goods store for no apparent reason and wandered around for about 30 minutes before realizing I had no idea why I even went there, teared up again on the way home from the grocery store while giving myself a pep talk, wanted to stab someone when I saw the weather forecast for Sunday was posted on Facebook ( I don't weather stalk before races due to that whole 'not-being-able-to-control-the-weather-or-the-stress-caused-by-weather-stalking' thing), debated over which sunscreen to buy for 15 minutes before choosing the same one I always buy... oh and I'm eating Larabars like the fate of the world depends on it.

Here's the worst part. I feel like I have no business feeling this way since I'm running the 25k while several of my friends are running the full marathon. It's even the first full marathon for a few of my close running buddies. They are running the whole 26.2 which is so amazing to me and I'm here whining about 15.5.

I know that it's ridiculous for me or anyone to feel like their goal is less important than someone else's. I really do understand that but it's driving me crazy on top of crazy. The breakdown: I am going crazy about running my 25k and then going even crazier because I don't feel validated in my current craziness when others are doing so much more. See, I'm a train wreck.

Fred has been really awesome. He is so incredibly supportive. Plus, he gives me perspective. His words to me, "Really, what is the worst thing that can happen? You don't finish. So what? You're young, healthy, and hot. (his words, not mine) You have a husband who loves you and three wonderful kids who are also healthy." This is why I married this man. He keeps me grounded. He's amazing.

So, the next couple days I am going to do what I need to do. I've already trained so that's done. I'm loading my iPod with new music. I know what I'm wearing. I'm foam rolling now to race day. I'm drinking lots water. I've threatened Fred that on Sunday morning he needs to just do what I say and go along with it no matter how crazy he thinks it sounds. (See, he does not like to arrive early for anything. Ever. While I am happy to arrive an hour early and stand and wait knowing that I will be ready when it's time. This calms me.) Then, I'm going to run 15.5 miles. I'm not going to think or care about how long it takes me. I'm not going to worry about my knee. I'm just going to soak it all in and get it done while taking pride in the fact that I am capable of more than I ever thought. I'm going to get my medal. I'm going to hug my husband and tell him how much I appreciate him putting up with my crazy.


Then, I'm going to wait and cheer for all of my friends who are running the full marathon. After that, I'll start planning for the next race...

Good Luck and Happy Running to everyone who is running 

River City this weekend!!! 

Peace, Love, Happiness!
~Bekah